May 4, 2006 at 3:47 AM #31642
KNOW UR NEW NAME
The following in an excerpt from a children’s book, “Captain UnderpantsAnd the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants” by Dave Pilkey. The evilProfessor forces everyone to assume new names…
Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:
a = poopsie b = lumpy c = buttercupd = gadget e = crusty f = greasyg = fluffy h = cheeseball i = chim-chimj = stinky k = flunky l = bootiem = pinky n = zippy o = gooberp = doofus q = slimy r = loopys = snotty t = tootie u = dorkeyv = squeezit w = oprah x = skippery = dinky z = zsa-zsa
Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of yournew last name:
a = apple b = toilet c = giggled = burger e = girdle f = barfg = lizard h = waffle i = cootiej = monkey k = potty l = liverm = banana n = rhino o = bubblep = hamster q = toad r = gizzards = pizza t = gerbil u = chickenv = pickle w = chuckle x = tofuy = gorilla z = stinker
Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the secondhalf of your new last name:
a = head b = mouth c = faced = nose e = tush f = breathg = pants h = shorts i = lipsj = honker k = butt l = brainm = tushie n = biscuits o = hineyp = chunks q = toes r = bunss = fanny t = sniffer u = sprinklesv = kisser w = squirt x = humperdincky = brains z = juice
Thus, for example, George W. Bush’s new name is GooberChickenshorts.
William Jefferson Clinton is Bootie Liverbiscuits.
so, what is yours???
May 4, 2006 at 2:54 AM #31641
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters:BEST IN PRAYERASTRONOMER:When you rearrange the letters:MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS ITTHE EYES:When you rearrange the letters:THEY SEEGEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITYELECTION RESULTS:When you rearrange the letters:LIES – LET’S RECOUNT
MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z ‘S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONEAND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA: When you rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using each letter only once):TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS
May 4, 2006 at 2:51 AM #31640
ANG MAGULONG PISO…
May nakita kang T-shirt sa Department store, ito ay may tag na Php 97.00.
Gusto mong bilhin pero wala kang pera, humiram ka sa nanay mo ng Php 50.00 at sa tatay mo ng Php 50.00. Magkano na pera mo?(sagot: Php 100.00)
Binili mo ang T-Shirt, Magkano sukli mo?(sagot: Php 3.00)
Binalik mo ung piso sa nanay mo, magkano nalang ang utang mo sa nanay mo?(sagot: Php 49.00)
Binalik mo ung isa pang piso sa tatay mo, magkano na lang utang mo sa tatay mo?(sagot: Php 49.00)
Ung isang piso na sa iyo. Ito na ang pang-gulo..
49 + 49 ?(sagot: 98)+ piso na nasa iyo?(sagot : 99) Saan napunta yong Piso?
eto naman ang isang kalkulasyon:
49 Php ang utang mo kay nanay plus yoong binayad mong piso equals = Php 50 49 Php ang utang mo kay tatay plus yong binayad mong piso = 50 50 + 50 ? (sagot = 100) plus yoong piso nasa iyo (sagot = 101)
bakit sobra ng piso? Ang galing naman tumubo pa ng piso!!!
May 4, 2006 at 12:18 AM #31636
Proud to be Pinoy Dear World, We do not need your pity right now. Thing is, as a people, we Filipinos have gone through a lot lately. And by lately, I mean within the month–the shortest month of the year, even! We suffered through stampedes, landslides, and now, a power hungry homunculus running things. But no, thanks, but we don’t need your pity. We will still go to your country and cook our adobo, meet our hundreds of Aunties and Uncles, and we will still refuse to skip a bath. We will do these things because, gademit, we are proud to do so. We are proud to be Filipinos. We will never go anywhere in this world and hide behind another nationality. We will stare at you right in the eye, and say I’m a Filipino, putangina mo bay. Sure, we ape your music. Some of us even dress like Japanese cartoons. But at the end of the day, balisong ko pa rin ang grigripo sa iyong hayup ka. You can make a joke and name a brown-outside-white-inside cookie after us, but let me assure you, this is one tough cookie. Break us, and you won’t see your fortune, but your fate. So, hey. We’re still proud of being Pinoys. We love being Pinoys. We will learn English because you’re too stupid to understand us. We’ll take care of your kids, because we have different views of what a “family” should be. We’ll answer the phone, because you’ll probably drive each other crazy if we don’t. We’ll clean your house, because you don’t know how to. We’ll sell you our women, because yours are butt ugly (and they have bigger balls than your men). We’ll take care of your grandparents, because they have outlived their usefulness to you. We’ll nurse you back your health, because frankly, when you’re life’s at stake, we’re the only ones you can trust with it. We’ll do all that, and you can laugh at us while we’re doing it… But hey, tangina mo dong.
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